Fixed Gear Blog: MTB Jocks hate Fixie Hipsters in Germany too.

Fixed Gear Blog: MTB Jocks hate Fixie Hipsters in Germany too.: "Cheeky hat made of imitation denim with wannabe sponsor logo
Insect-resistant and stylish 'nose-bike' (slang for sunglasses)
Model: Mandy Whorehole
Alternative: Eyepatch or 'wood-eye' (like the eye in a plank of wood)
Weight-optimizied acceleration baby-beard
Model: booger- and snot-retardant 'respect beam' (I think this is more unusual slang for mustache)
Alternative: None, really. Ah, well, maybe black sharpie.
Nitto NJS handlebars & stem
(limited edition anodized = powerful penis enlargement)
NJS-stamped track components generally increase the style and standing of fixie-pilots and will give your rivals even worse penis envy and make them salivate uncontrollably.
Alternative: Forget it, kid.
Tri- or Aerospoke front wheel
Most important is that it is made of plastic and is usable (I could be wrong if Platik isn't a typo for Plastik)
It doesn't make sense, but hipsters don't give a shit.
Trispokes and Aerospokes ride steady. End of story. ('ride steady' is a guess)
Alternative: Preferably a colored deep-V
Model: (no idea here) Accelerator, Scumpagnalo Pasta or Clammy Nippleator.
Funny stickers, postage stamps or pornographic images emphasizing urban appearance and uglification (theft deterrence), as well as the personalization of your fixie."